what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
