Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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