Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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