My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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