she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
