she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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