I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
