remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
