Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
