We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize