her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
