i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
