The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
