I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
