Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
