you would pick up someone in the library
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Can you bring me the toilet please
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
COCAINE IS GR8
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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