New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
