Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
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Do I have a choice?
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All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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