Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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