My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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