what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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