he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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