Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
