You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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