No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
