either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
