What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
