Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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