I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You took a bar mat shot.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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