babies were throwing up all over the place
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
