4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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