dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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