i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
