just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
