Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
