): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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