After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
