Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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