Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
