But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
