So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
