She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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