what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have already put on my inside pants.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
