I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
