I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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