remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
