True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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