Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
