Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
