My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
