It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
