took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
