you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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