so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
