he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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